New Diet

[Brian K Beckett]

NEW PURINA DIET
I was in Wal-Mart buying a large bag of Purina for my dog Lola – and was in line to check out.
A woman behind me asked if I had a dog........ Duh!

I was feeling a bit crabby so on impulse, I told her no, I was starting The Purina Diet again. Although I probably shouldn't because I'd endedup inthe hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care unit with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IV's in both arms.
Her eyes about bugged out of her head.

I went on and on with the bogus diet story and she was totally buying it. I told her that it was an easy, inexpensive diet.
That the way itworks is to load your pockets or purse with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry.
The package said the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a tall guy behind her.

Horrified, she asked if something in the dog food had poisoned me and was that why I ended up in the hospital?

I said no.....I'd been sitting in the middle of the street licking my butt when a car hit me.

I thought the tall guy was going to have to be carried out the door.

[acoolmom777]

roflao....oh man I love that..hahahahahahahahahahhahahaha...:adore:

[bubbysgarage]

[QUOTE=Brian K Beckett;41723]NEW PURINA DIET
I was in Wal-Mart buying a large bag of Purina for my dog Lola – and was in line to check out.
A woman behind me asked if I had a dog........ Duh![QUOTE]

I gotta know if this woman was a blonde? No offense to the blondes but this is better than any blonde joke I've ever heard. Nothing suprises me anymore and this would fit in right along with the "They walk among us" email that everyone's seen. Loved the story Brian thanks for sharing.

[Amandaann]

I was in Kroger's liquior store buying cigs. ( they are cheaper there) And the cashier was telling the lady in front of my that Kroger's has just boutght the who;e shopping center and that every store was moving out. And that it was going to be nothing but alcohol. I work in one of those stores and I believed him for a second until he said all of the shopping center would be all alcohol. Then he said that everything was going to be dirt cheap Like most things $1.00. The lady in front of me still believed him so he told her the truth.

[kcredden]

[laughs!] Now why wasn't this put in humor? :) Wait, humor is good for you, so it also fits here. Your evil and twisted! :)

- KC

[Brian K Beckett]

[QUOTE=Brian K Beckett;41723]NEW PURINA DIET
I was in Wal-Mart buying a large bag of Purina for my dog Lola – and was in line to check out.
A woman behind me asked if I had a dog........ Duh![QUOTE]

I gotta know if this woman was a blonde? No offense to the blondes but this is better than any blonde joke I've ever heard. Nothing suprises me anymore and this would fit in right along with the "They walk among us" email that everyone's seen. Loved the story Brian thanks for sharing.


I dont know if she was a blonde. It was passed to me in an e mail and thought i would share it.

[laughs!] Now why wasn't this put in humor? :) Wait, humor is good for you, so it also fits here. Your evil and twisted! :)

- KC

I put it in health because it seem many people are trying these healthy diets that the believe anything they hear.

I think the health problem that we have today are from the pestasides and preseratives that are put into food to make it more profitable.
Cook a pound of beef from a grocery store and see how much left over grease and junk is strained from it.
Then cook a pound of beef from a slaughter house that hasent been beefed up with junk like hormones.
The store bought has way more grease and junk left over.

[Maxwells]

LOL..Loved that story....