Is Your Boss a Bully?

[tiger_n2_dragon]

Five tips on how to cope with a superior who may not have anyone's best interests in mind.

Abusive bosses, bullies with big job titles, make everyone else's lives miserable. Online polling shows that the problem is widespread and that an abusive boss is more likely to be a woman than a man.

According to the Workplace Bullying and Trauma Institute, bullying by women toward women represents 50 percent of all workplace abusiveness. Bullying by men toward women represent 30 percent. Men bullying men is an even rarer situation, at 12 percent.

So what should you know if you think you might be a victim of an abusive boss? Here are today's five tips.

Tip 1: Identify the abusive boss

There are at least four types of abusive bosses, according to the Workplace Bullying & Trauma Institute:

The constant critic who uses put downs, insults, name-calling, and makes aggressive eye contact.

The two-headed snake who pretends to be nice while sabotaging you.

The gatekeeper is also known as the control freak, while the Screaming Mimi is emotionally out of control and explosive.

A March 2003 poll conducted by the consumer research company Maritz showed that 23 percent of American employees would fire their boss if they could.

Tip 2: Know when it's too much

Invariably, any boss is going to exhibit behavior at some point that might be considered abusive. The problem comes when it happens all the time.

It's over the line when it affects your health, if you chronically suffer high blood pressure that started only when you began working for the boss, if you feel nauseous the night before the start of the work week, or if all your paid off-time is used for mental health breaks.

Tip 3: Look at the flip side

Abusive bosses benefit from such behavior because they deliver exactly what their own bosses want. To get a handle on their behavior, consult with people in the office to find out how they respond to people who whistleblow or call them on their offensive behavior.

Some bullies back off if you call them on their actions.

Tip 4: Don't be a wallflower

A bully in the corner office isn't much different than a bully on the playground. Don't present yourself as a victim when dealing with a difficult boss by either apologizing or confessing all the time.

Abusive bosses smell blood. Being humble invites assaults.

Tip 5: Bullying is not illegal

Clearly your boss doesn't have to be nice, kind, or fair. However, if you are suffering some sort of physical ailment or emotional trauma as a result of your boss' actions, then you can ask for reimbursement for medical expenses and days of work lost under Worker's Compensation.

Keep in mind that doing this may create a situation where your boss tries to get back at you. If that happens, this may make for a legal case.

If you can't get satisfaction from Human Resources, try your state's industrial commission, which is responsible for enforcing Worker's Comp rules.

You may not be the only one pursuing these actions; over the past five years more and more employees are filing complaints due to abusive bosses. To understand your rights, go to www.workplacefairness.org (http://www.workplacefairness.org).

[SomeDude]

I personally can't stand that "I'm mightier than thou" disrespectful attitude. I think you have to give respect in order to receive it, especially in the work place. Staff and or managers that allow a position to go to their head, has obviously forgotten what it feels like to have a disrespectful bully for a boss.

[TheMan]

Depends on which of the 8 bosses you're talkin' about..

[Chuck]

I voted no for my employees. Cause I am not a bully. That best be how they see it. :Banane36:

[kileyrowland74]

I have got to say that I have had three dozen jobs and I can't think of one boss I thought was "good," so I must be the problem!

Boy, could I tell you some boss stories, though . . .

[tiger_n2_dragon]

Overworked employees are fed up: a survey finds 8 out of 10 Americans want a new job. Many employees are overworked, stressed out, fed up -- and eager to quit their jobs once the economy picks up. In fact, worker angst is so pronounced it has surprised even the most tuned-in human resource professionals. They say employee anger is now almost palpable. More than 8 in 10 workers plan to look for a new job when the economy heats up, according to a survey by the Society for Human Resource Professionals. While there's a difference between looking for a new gig and actually jumping ship, that kind of number is "very, very high," says SHRP spokesman Frank Scanlon.

How did things get so bad?

To be sure, the economy hasn't helped. Cash-strapped employers have been cutting back on benefits like health care, paid vacations and retirement benefits. Belt tightening is one thing; greed is another. In an era of Enron, mutual fund scandals and ludicrous CEO pay packages, employees know the difference, says Jeff Taylor, founder and CEO of monster.com. "Companies behaving badly" have been all too common during the downturn, according to Taylor.

How bad it has gotten...

83% of all employees plan to head for a new job when the economy improves...

35% of 'top performing' employees say they will leave when they can.

60% of employees feel too much pressure at work

83% want more time with families

56% are dissatisfied with their jobs and heading for the door.

Gerald Ledford, senior vice president at Sibson Consulting, notes that if 16 percent of workers do leave their jobs - as his firm predicts - that will match the high turnover rates of the late 1990's, when employees hop scotched from job to job. "It's a very expensive problem," says Ledford. For example, a national clothing chain must sell 3,000 pairs of $35 khakis to cover the price of replacing a salesperson who quits, including recruiting, training and lost productivity. The tab to replace a typical white-collar middle manager runs about $100,000.

"We're a few good breaths away from being back at a lower unemployment rate," says Monster's Jeff Taylor. "Companies can limit their exposure by saying 'thank you' and recognizing the good work people have done for them but generally, in this area is where most companies fail.” :drum:

[Dr Funkenstein]

These type of bosses need to realize that their subordinates are what makes them look good or bad. The ones on the lower end of the totem pole can make or break their bosses.

[Foxy]

As TN2D can tell you, I had a boss that would reprimand and dog me in front of clients, assuming that it was me. It usually wasn't, or it was something minor that could have waited. She actually yelled at me and called me a stupid moron in in front of a very high profile client. The client was so upset that she canceled her reservation for a tour and party at the place I worked. She also called the CEO of the company to tell them that what i got yelled at for was not my fault, but the booking agents fault.
I would leave that place in tears, and when I found out I was pregnant, and told them they fired 4 employees to make their total employee number fall below the 50 so that I could not ask for FMLA. I was so thankful that TN2D and I were able to allow me to be a stay at home mom, I stayed and raised our children for 6 years. I was terrified when I first went back to work, I was afraid to have another boss like that. Now she was the boss from HECK!! I later learned that I could have sued for a hostile work environment. I had copies of every incident kept in a journal. Anther time they accused me of stealing money from the register, this woman sent an email to all employees and basically accused me in that email (though all employees had access to the register), anyway they called the police, did a thorough investigation, and later "found" the money through an accounting error. I never got so much as an apology. 4 other employees left on my last day with out so much as a notice, they were worried they would be her next target I guess....LOL

[tiger_n2_dragon]

There are three ways to deal with office bullies. You can ignore them, confront them or report them to the boss. But what do you do when the bully is your boss? Delicate situation; you like your job. The money's good. The benefits are terrific. If only this creep would cease invading your head space. Odds are that isn't going to happen.

1. Avoid becoming a target.

The first step is to avoid becoming a target. Paul Babiak, a New York industrial-organizational psychologist and co-author of "Snakes in Suits," advises against trying to "help" or befriend a bully; their aggressive behavior hides an inner need that is well beyond reason. "Studies indicate that bullies are actually inept people who are not talented, maybe have a rage against themselves that they express outward toward people they see as being better than they are. It's from a point of weakness that they express their violence toward others." "Most people self-correct, they will even apologize," adds Horn. "Bullies never self-correct, and the reason is they hold everyone else responsible for their behavior. To change, you have to be willing to take responsibility for your own actions, and bullies do not. All of our reasonable, logical, compassionate attempts to get along with a bully will backfire."

To avoid being targeted, Horn suggests emulating the cat confronted by a dog: If the cat runs, the dog runs after it. But if the cat doesn't budge, the dog walks around it. "In any office, you will find there are people the bully picks on and people the bully leaves alone," says Horn. "When we reverse the risk-reward ratio, when we give as good as we get, we're up to the bully's test.

"The only thing a bully respects is people who won't be bullied."

2. Name the problem.

You've got a problem and it's not your fault or doing. Your boss is a bully. Face up to the fact that although you had no part in becoming their target, it is up to you to end this destructive mambo.

"Naming it legitimizes it," says Namie. "You know if you name it that it's not you."

3. Take some time off.

If the abuse has been ongoing, a doctor may even order this for your own good. If not, take vacation time. "When you're flooded with emotion, when you're full of anger and outrage and you're hurt, all you want to do is convince people you're wounded," Namie says. "You're not going to get any help if you come at them with emotion." Use the time to see a mental health counselor, check your physical health, check your legal options and gather your thoughts. A quarter of bullying cases have some discrimination components that may strengthen your case.

4. Start a journal.

Without documentation, employees tend to get nowhere when challenging superiors. Chart the five Ws: who, what, when, where and witnesses. "If you don't, it's your word against theirs and any decision-maker will not be able to take action," says Horn. "Often the decision-makers don't like whistleblowers and are often intimidated themselves by this individual and are not eager to deal with them. "The good thing is, if you report with documentation, most organizations are mandated to follow up because if they do not, they are liable. It's one of your only sources of power."

5. Expose the bully.

When your case is solid, expose the bully. You don't want to do this directly, says Namie, but at least two levels up the organization; that is, the bully boss's boss. "This is where you make the unemotional business case that the bully is too expensive to keep," he says. "Our success stories are coming from these multilayer corporate structures where there is somebody high enough above that did not bring the person on board and does not owe them any personal loyalty."

Warning: Do not confront the bully.

"That's what everybody tells you; it's a clash of personalities, work it out between yourselves," says Namie. This rarely works.

Even more frustrating is that there's no law against workplace bullying -- yet. Namie's organization has launched a grassroots effort to enact anti-bullying statutes in states and provinces across North America. So far, Quebec is the only jurisdiction to adopt psychological harassment legislation. Places where the bully boss is the top banana, you may have little choice but to move on. The loss rate on court cases for intentional infliction of emotional distress is 95 percent, Namie says. In these cases, the employee has to decide, all other things considered, whether the job really is worth keeping. If the answer is "no," it's time to acquaint yourself with a headhunter.

The "Survivor" factor
The courts and the corporate boardroom also have been slow to recognize that bully behavior batters the bottom line. The bureau director of a federal agency recently called on Namie to ferret out a bully boss, but when he isolated him, the director refused to remove him because "he's a great conversationalist and a lunch buddy."

Do you wonder if we will see an end to bully bosses anytime soon? Horn says the answer may be staring us in the face every day. "When you watch TV, you see kids bad-mouthing their parents. You see shows like 'Survivor' and the reality shows where the more aggressive and manipulative and conniving you are, the more you are rewarded. We are growing up in a culture where 'dissing' each other is the norm. "Even laugh tracks. Remember 'The Weakest Link?' The host would ridicule the contestants and everyone was laughing en masse at this individual and they were just supposed to buck up and take it. Boy, are our values getting confused when this is held up as an example!"

[Chuck]

OK, you will quit posting this stuff or I will can you..... :Banane36:

:argue:

JK, bud

[tiger_n2_dragon]

OK, you will quit posting this stuff or I will can you..... :Banane36:

:argue:

JK, bud

:fear: Sorry, just trying to help (hangs head). I'll be good from now on, Chuck please don't :banplease: ...lol

[Chuck]

On a serious note now. Nice Post..

[tiger_n2_dragon]

On a serious note now. Nice Post..

Thanks Chuck. I was hoping to hear some war stories but, I guess their too :fear: of getting :Banane36: ...lol

[kdown]

At our place it's my way or the "highway". Of course they are all truck drivers so they don't mind the "highway"

[mark]

.................my tip??

I just do what I'm told.

If I do as I'm told & it gets screwed up, it's the boss' problem.....after all, that's why they get the "big bucks"..........see ya mark

[tiger_n2_dragon]

.................my tip??

I just do what I'm told.

If I do as I'm told & it gets screwed up, it's the boss' problem.....after all, that's why they get the "big bucks"..........see ya mark

That's a valid point, although this thread is about boss' who misuse their authority. Believe it or not, there is a nice way to approach an employee with out being a jerk. An employee will respect a boss who uses this tactic, more so than one that treats them like dirt. An employee will also be more likely to stay at their current job longer. This benefits the company more so than most people realize. As I posted earlier, a national clothing chain must sell 3,000 pairs of $35 khakis to cover the price of replacing a salesperson who quits, including recruiting, training and lost productivity. The tab to replace a typical white-collar middle manager runs about $100,000. Therefore, if I had a company where employee's were walking out because of a bullying boss, it would be him/her that would hit the road. Bottom line is, people should be shown respect. The employee should show their boss(es) respect and vise a versa. Respect isn't a one way street, you can not expect to receive respect when you yourself don't show any to others. :croc:

[Gemini]

My tip...
Take 'em out and slap 'em around a little bit. Might want to have a backup plan, like job, bail money etc.

[F_Farkell]

Could it be some bosses seem like bullies because some employees seem like they don't give a crap how the work is done? :confused:

I have worked on both sides of management and it goes both ways.
I have worked beside people who should back up to get their check.
I have worked for people , some gruff. some nice and it always seemed like the gruff ones had lazy employees.

I also have had employees. I am sure some might think of me as a bully.
But I also think most would think of me as a nice boss.
I can tell you the ones who don't like me did not make an effort to do their job.:argue:

[TheMan]

I'll reserve comment...

[mark]

...........I could care less whether the boss is a bully or not.

What management needs to say occasionally to their employees is simply....


Thank you.

I know...I know...I dreaming.
However,
That would go a loooong way with employee relations............see ya mark

[TheMan]

You catch more flies with honey than you do with vinegar. - Ben Franklin (1706-1790)

[momof3]

Well from experience I would say my ex boss was a bully. Never did we get a thank you for the place looking nice or keep up the good work. It was always something to the effect of, what was the inside sells today or how many gallons of gas did you sell. How come you're not selling over two thousand gallons etc etc..... But when you have a lot of money and your store is not doing what you want it too, then that could be a lot of problem of the guy being a bully. He stays upset thinking he is losing 30 cents instead of making 30 dollars... You get my point