Raindeer Shortage

[kdown]

All the other raindeer USED to laugh and call him names

[Jeremy]

:D Love it! Is that Farside?

[kcredden]

I vote definately Farside! :) It's his style of art, AND story

:D Love it! Is that Farside?

[kdown]

The signature in the lower right hand corner says " Leigh "

[kdown]

Opps......Radar not working

[kdown]

Santa's got a flat raindeer

[bikerwannabe]

You all are silly.

[kdown]

Yep, guess we are

[Jeremy]

Opps......Radar not working

Poor ol' Santa Claus
Poor ol' Santa Claus
Smashed against the plane
There go the toys
For girls and boys
Right across the wing
Sirens ringing
People screaming
Oh what a horrible sight
Don't bother being good
In the coming year
'Cause Santa Claus died tonight!

:eek:

[Jeremy]

It was so horrible they made a movie out of it staring Samuel L. Jackson called "Santas on a Plane".

[Foxy]

Rolling On The Floor Laughing My Butt Off!!!!!!!

[kdown]

Flight Test For Santa


Santa Claus, like all pilots, gets regular visits from the Federal
Aviation Administration (FAA). It was shortly before Christmas
when the FAA examiner arrived.

In preparation, Santa had the elves wash the sled and bathe all
the reindeer. Santa got his logbook out and made sure all his
paperwork was in order.

The examiner walked slowly around the sled. He checked the
reindeer harnesses, the landing gear and Rudolph's nose. He
painstakingly reviewed Santa's weight and balance calculations
for the sled's enormous payload.

Finally, they were ready for the checkride.

Santa got in and fastened his seat belt and shoulder harness and
checked the compass. Then the examiner hopped in carrying, to
Santa's surprise, a shotgun.

"What's that for?" asked Santa incredulously.

The examiner winked and said, "I'm not supposed to tell you this,
but you're gonna lose an engine on takeoff."

[kdown]

Santa Stats


There are currently 78 people named S. Claus
living in the U.S. -- and one Kriss Kringle.
(You gotta wonder about that one kid's parents)

December is the most popular month for nose jobs.

Weight of Santa's sleigh loaded with one Beanie Baby
for every kid on earth: 333,333 tons.

Number of reindeer required to pull a 333,333-ton s
sleigh: 214,206 -- plus Rudolph.

Average wage of a mall Santa: $11 an hour.
With real beard: $20.

To deliver his gifts in one night, Santa would have to
make 822.6 visits per second, sleighing at 3,000 times
the speed of sound.

At that speed, Santa and his reindeer would burst into flame
instantaneously.

[Foxy]

Fun sucker...LOL
just kidding! I had to forward severl of these to friends, they were so funny!

[kdown]

GGGGrrrrrrrrr....ain't gonna fit



Click on Santa

[kybikertrash]

How many of you listen to Bob Rivers Christmas songs instead of regular Christmas music? That's all my kids and I listen to in the car during "the season". You can hear them on his website www.bobrivers.com

Listen to the "Twisted Chipmunks Song", then follow it up with "Chipmunks Roasting on an Open Fire"

[Jeremy]

You can hear them on his website www.bobrivers.com

Link directly to the songs: http://www.bobrivers.com/player/playerradio.asp?ID=5500&SPEED=2&atype=xmas

[Foxy]

I loved it!!! Thanks for sharing!!

[kdown]

NORAD Tracking Santa from the North Pole


http://www.noradsanta.org/en/tracking.php

[kdown]

Please, Santa


The Santa Claus at the mall was very surprised when a young lady
about twenty years old walked up and sat on his lap.

Santa doesn't usually take requests from adults, but she smiled
very nicely at him, so he asked her, "What do you want for
Christmas?"

"Something for my mother, please." said the young lady.

"Something for your mother? Well, that's very thoughtful of you,''
smiled Santa. "What do you want me to bring her? "

Without blinking she replied, "A son-in-law!"

[kdown]

Geezzzzzz !

LONDON This Saint Nick is plenty jolly -- but in an R-rated sort of way. And that got him fired from a famous London department store.

According to Harrods, the Santa was making what a statement calls "inappropriate" comments. Exactly what he said isn't being revealed, but the store says the comments were not racial, and were only made to adults.

Harrods says even if they were made in good humor they can't be condoned, so this Bad Santa is out.

[kdown]

I'm gonna go back to humor. Everything else is to HEAVY