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tiger_n2_dragon
November 23rd, 2006, 02:42 AM
A married couple is driving along a highway doing a steady 40 miles per hour.

The wife is behind the wheel.

Her husband suddenly looks across at her and speaks in a clear voice. “I know we've been married for twenty years, but I want a divorce."

The wife says nothing but, keeps looking at the road ahead but slowly increases her speed to 45 mph.

The husband speaks again. "I don't want you to try and talk me out of it, He says, "because I've been having an affair with your best friend, and she's a far better lover than you are."

Again the wife stays quiet, but grips the steering wheel more tightly and slowly increases the speed to 55. He pushes his luck. "I want the house," he says insistently.

Up to 60.

"I want the car, too," he continues.

65 mph.

"And," he says, "I'll have the bank accounts, all the credit cards and the boat!" The car slowly starts veering towards a massive concrete bridge. This makes him nervous, so he asks her, "Isn't there anything you want?"

The wife at last replies in a quiet and controlled voice.

"No, I've have everything I need," she says.

"Oh, really," he inquires, "so what do you have?"

Just before they slam into the wall at 65 mph, the wife turns to him and smiles. "The airbag."

KELTYSBOY
November 23rd, 2006, 09:09 AM
Now that, is funny! Happy Turkey Day!

KELTYSBOY
November 23rd, 2006, 09:33 AM
A married couple is driving along a highway doing a steady 40 miles per hour.

The wife is behind the wheel.

Her husband suddenly looks across at her and speaks in a clear voice. “I know we've been married for twenty years, but I want a divorce."

The wife says nothing but, keeps looking at the road ahead but slowly increases her speed to 45 mph.

The husband speaks again. "I don't want you to try and talk me out of it, He says, "because I've been having an affair with your best friend, and she's a far better lover than you are."

Again the wife stays quiet, but grips the steering wheel more tightly and slowly increases the speed to 55. He pushes his luck. "I want the house," he says insistently.

Up to 60.

"I want the car, too," he continues.

65 mph.

"And," he says, "I'll have the bank accounts, all the credit cards and the boat!" The car slowly starts veering towards a massive concrete bridge. This makes him nervous, so he asks her, "Isn't there anything you want?"

The wife at last replies in a quiet and controlled voice.

"No, I've have everything I need," she says.

"Oh, really," he inquires, "so what do you have?"

Just before they slam into the wall at 65 mph, the wife turns to him and smiles. "The airbag."

Ed was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really mad. She told him, "tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds. AND IT BETTER BE THERE."
The next morning Ed go up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough, there was a small box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway.
Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway and took the box back in the house. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.
Funeral services for Ed have been scheduled for Saturday!!!!

scjackson
November 23rd, 2006, 10:58 AM
The best thing is not to get mad, but get even. Isn't it so sweet.

Foxy
November 24th, 2006, 02:35 AM
LOL those are soo funny!!

acoolmom777
November 24th, 2006, 01:39 PM
loflao...tooooo funny