annieap
March 9th, 2005, 10:40 AM
A few years ago I received an e-mail that simply said, “I don’t know any other way to say this, but Jimmy is dead. He took his life last night”.
The Jimmy in reference was a friend of mine that I had gone through high school with but more than that, his sister was one of my best friends.
After we graduated Jimmy went into the military, married, divorced, remarried and had two kids. We lost touch for several years and had only reconnected about a year before his death.
I had to read the e-mail three times before it truly dawned on me that Jimmy was really gone. It just did not seem possible. There were many questions I would have liked to ask…the biggest one being…WHY????
Earlier this year, my mom called me, said she had some bad news. She told me she had just learned that another friend had taken his life. Terry’s death hit closer to home than Jimmy’s. I saw Terry in my neighborhood at least once a week or so. His daughter and my son are friends. He always had a smile on his face. From talking with him last summer, I knew he was depressed but I sure didn’t think this would be the end result. I still cannot believe he is gone.
Two nights ago, a friend of my brother attempted suicide but fortunately, he was not successful. He has a long road of recovery ahead of him.
I suppose my main reason for sharing this is awareness. If you have a friend or loved one that is depressed, talks about death/suicide, take them seriously. Often the comment is made “He won’t really do it if he is talking about it”…this is a myth. Talking about it is a cry for help that is too often ignored. Here are some other warning signs:
· Talking About Dying -- any mention of dying, disappearing, jumping, shooting oneself, or other types of self harm.
· Recent Loss -- through death, divorce, separation, broken relationship, loss of job, money, status, self-confidence, self-esteem, loss of religious faith, loss of interest in friends, sex, hobbies, activities previously enjoyed
· Change in Personality -- sad, withdrawn, irritable, anxious, tired, indecisive, apathetic
· Change in Behavior -- can't concentrate on school, work, routine tasks
· Change in Sleep Patterns -- insomnia, often with early waking or oversleeping, nightmares
· Change in Eating Habits -- loss of appetite and weight, or overeating
· Fear of losing control -- going crazy, harming self or others
· Low self esteem -- feeling worthless, shame, overwhelming guilt, self-hatred, "everyone would be better off without me"
· No hope for the future -- believing things will never get better; that nothing will ever change
If someone you love or care for mentions suicide to you, listen to them without criticizing, and try to get them to seek help.
The Jimmy in reference was a friend of mine that I had gone through high school with but more than that, his sister was one of my best friends.
After we graduated Jimmy went into the military, married, divorced, remarried and had two kids. We lost touch for several years and had only reconnected about a year before his death.
I had to read the e-mail three times before it truly dawned on me that Jimmy was really gone. It just did not seem possible. There were many questions I would have liked to ask…the biggest one being…WHY????
Earlier this year, my mom called me, said she had some bad news. She told me she had just learned that another friend had taken his life. Terry’s death hit closer to home than Jimmy’s. I saw Terry in my neighborhood at least once a week or so. His daughter and my son are friends. He always had a smile on his face. From talking with him last summer, I knew he was depressed but I sure didn’t think this would be the end result. I still cannot believe he is gone.
Two nights ago, a friend of my brother attempted suicide but fortunately, he was not successful. He has a long road of recovery ahead of him.
I suppose my main reason for sharing this is awareness. If you have a friend or loved one that is depressed, talks about death/suicide, take them seriously. Often the comment is made “He won’t really do it if he is talking about it”…this is a myth. Talking about it is a cry for help that is too often ignored. Here are some other warning signs:
· Talking About Dying -- any mention of dying, disappearing, jumping, shooting oneself, or other types of self harm.
· Recent Loss -- through death, divorce, separation, broken relationship, loss of job, money, status, self-confidence, self-esteem, loss of religious faith, loss of interest in friends, sex, hobbies, activities previously enjoyed
· Change in Personality -- sad, withdrawn, irritable, anxious, tired, indecisive, apathetic
· Change in Behavior -- can't concentrate on school, work, routine tasks
· Change in Sleep Patterns -- insomnia, often with early waking or oversleeping, nightmares
· Change in Eating Habits -- loss of appetite and weight, or overeating
· Fear of losing control -- going crazy, harming self or others
· Low self esteem -- feeling worthless, shame, overwhelming guilt, self-hatred, "everyone would be better off without me"
· No hope for the future -- believing things will never get better; that nothing will ever change
If someone you love or care for mentions suicide to you, listen to them without criticizing, and try to get them to seek help.